A Personal Note

Guard Your Heart – Forgive and Live Free

This message isn’t just something I’ve seen in others—it’s something I’ve had to live.

My family has walked through many betrayals and deep pain. I am no exception to the heartache and struggle that comes when people you trust hurt you. So when I share these words, know this: they are for me just as much as they are for anyone else reading.

I’ve seen firsthand how easy it is to let bitterness and unforgiveness take root. And I’ve also seen the freedom that comes when we process pain God’s way.

The truth is: you become the very thing you hate when you don’t forgive.

I genuinely love people. I love to hear their stories, to encourage them, to come alongside them as a friend, and to pray for them. But over the years, in my own pain and in walking with others through theirs, I’ve learned something—when we go through difficult seasons, there’s a choice we must make over and over again.

We have to navigate carefully, process the pain with the Lord, and forgive… sometimes daily. Because the hurt often resurfaces—whether it’s a memory, a conversation replaying in your mind, or the sting of someone’s words—you will have to choose again: I forgive.

And it’s not just “I forgive,” but “I forgive, and I bless.” Jesus said in Luke 6:28:

“Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

When we process pain God’s way, something beautiful happens—freedom comes. Genuine love begins to fill our hearts. Eventually, we find ourselves truly desiring to see God’s blessings in the life of the very person who hurt us. We begin to see them through His eyes (Matthew 5:44).

But if we refuse to forgive and let God heal us, the opposite happens. Bitterness takes root (Hebrews 12:15), and slowly we become the very thing we hate.

The Bible says in Proverbs 4:23:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

That’s a strong warning—above all else. It means that what we allow into our heart will determine what flows out of our life.

Renew Your Mind in Christ

Guarding your heart also means guarding your thoughts. Romans 12:2 reminds us:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

For me, renewing my mind has looked like catching myself when my thoughts drift back into replaying old hurts and instead replacing those thoughts with God’s truth. It’s a daily exchange—my pain for His perspective.

The Power of Your Words

I’ve had to learn this the hard way: your words have the power to build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21). When I’m hurt, it’s tempting to vent, to speak death over the situation or the person. But here’s the principle that has helped me over and over again:

Don’t curse it. Don’t rehearse it. Instead, bless and let go.

Cursing it—speaking negatively—keeps the wound open.
Rehearsing it—replaying the offense—keeps your mind stuck.
Blessing it—speaking life—invites God’s healing and releases you into freedom.

Practical Steps I’ve Had to Put into Practice Again and Again

1. Set Healthy Boundaries – Protect your heart without building walls (Proverbs 22:3). This was hard for me, but I’ve learned it’s not unloving to create space when needed.

2. Talk to God First – Before venting to others, I’ve had to pour it all out to Him (Psalm 62:8).

3. Choose Forgiveness Daily – Sometimes hourly. Forgiveness is a decision I keep making (Matthew 18:21-22).

4. Pray for the One Who Hurt Me – Even when I didn’t feel it, prayer has changed my heart (Luke 6:28).

5. Fill My Mind with Truth – I replace the replays of the offense with Scripture and worship (Philippians 4:8).

6. Speak Life – I refuse to let my words add poison to my own heart (Proverbs 18:21).

7. Honor and Love Anyway – Not easy, but it’s God’s way over resentment (Romans 12:17-21).

Heart Check: Are You Guarding or Grieving Your Heart?

• Am I replaying the offense more than I’m praying about it?

• Have I set healthy boundaries, or am I allowing repeated wounds?

• Am I speaking life over this situation—or death?

• Do I truly want God’s best for the person who hurt me?

• Am I spending more time with my hurt or with God’s Word?

• Is my heart becoming softer or harder toward people?

• Have I released this completely into God’s hands?

 Friend, guarding your heart is not about pretending you’re not hurt—it’s about keeping your heart open to God so He can heal you. When you forgive, renew your mind, and speak life, you’re not becoming what you hate—you’re becoming more like Jesus.